Since I was writing about the subject, i thought this article would be a good companion to episode 12 of the Consructive(?) Criticism podcast! Make sure to subscribe and leave a 5 star review with text on iTunes for an on-air shout out!
Before you get on my case for complaining about a worn topic, let me assure you I'm well aware this has been talked about ad nauseam. People have been bitching about remakes for literally a century at this point. Sometimes the remake is even considered a better film, Ben Hur being the obvious example. No, not the flaming shit-chariot of box office suicide that was the 2015 effort, the famed Charleton Heston "Original" was in actuality a remake of the silent era film if the same name. The first one was mostly notable for the amount of horses they killed during production.
Gonna be a long day at the combination dogfood/glue factory
The fact that remakes and now, reboots, keep happening, & happening, & happening, isn't what I take umbrage with. Its the fact that it has gotten so bad that major studios like Disney seem to be focusing all their efforts mining existing properties in lieu of developing original new content.
After the massive success of The Jungle Book and equally massive success(Gay Lafou "controversy" aside) of Beauty & the Beast, Disney has filled their upcoming film roster with a slew of live action adaptions of their most beloved works. Currently in various stages of pre-production are Live action versions of ( Deep breath), The Little Mermaid, Mulan, The Lion King (What?), Peter Pan (again), Dumbo (okay??), Aladdin, Christopher Robbin (a Winnie the Pooh remake), Oliver Twist, James and the Giant Peach, Pinocchio, and The Sword in the Stone (ANOTHER King Arthur film). In addition, we're also apparently getting a Tinkerbell solo film titled Tink, a movie about Snow Whites sister titles Rose Red, and "Cruella", a 101 Dalmatians prequel starring Emma Stone as a young Cruella Deville. Perhaps over the course of this one, we'll learn how the fuck she got insane enough to think she'd be able to wear a goddamn PUPPY-FUR COAT in public without everyone going completely apeshit.
Oh yeah, its gonna be Emma Stone. Everyone will be too busy drooling to notice.
So Disney it appears, is just going to keep singing "hi-ho, hi-ho its off to work we go" as they strip mine the very concept of nostalgia from our collective consciousnesses, leaving us with nothing to reminisce about. More so for this era, because as I said above, instead of new original stories we're getting live action remakes of cartoons that already had half a dozen straight to video sequels, plus coloring books, toys, video games, and fucking school supplies, all meant to rob the wallets and sanity of those unfortunate enough to have children into this shit. And now the cycle begins again.
Is the problem that Disney has run out of old, public domain properties to throw a "probably too fuckable for this age demographic" Princess at? I don't know, and honestly don't give enough of a shit to look into it. What I DO know is that its just one example of an industry wide problem when it comes to originality in blockbuster films and franchises.
When I heard from my friend Sean that another installment in the Matrix franchise was in early stages of development I got legitimately pissed for a few seconds. The gall of whatever producer shallow minded enough to try pulling another mansion or fleet of yachts out of this bloated, floating corpse of a franchise might actually be impressive if it weren't so grotesque. What could it possibly be that would be of any interest to anyone? Those movies are so dated now they only remind people of the trench coated goths from high-school. And Columbine. Those two come up together a lot.
Getting back to Disney though(sorry), every single Star Wars "Legacy" film in the (for real), "Star Wars Cinematic Universe" revealed or hinted at so far involves a named character from the franchise. Han Solo, likely Boba Fett, possibly Obi-Wan, Lando, Darth Vader(The ONLY one I'm interested in), and I've even heard vague rumors of a fucking young Luke movie, which sounds fantastic. Because who doesn't want to watch a preteen son of Skywalker toiling away on a moisture farm in a desert wasteland.
What I'm getting at is that new directors aren't being given freedom to express artistic vision when it come to shit like this, which is most of whats being produced in big budget format, which is a damn shame. Personally I don't think its necessary most of the time to have a budget that big anyway. I know I could make a pretty impressive film for way less than a million dollars. probably less than half.
...So who wants to give me $500 Grand?
